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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26907412">Control</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deviant_Donghun/pseuds/Deviant_Donghun'>Deviant_Donghun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides One Shots [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Intrusive Thoughts, Gen, no happy ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:48:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,526</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26907412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deviant_Donghun/pseuds/Deviant_Donghun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A Remus centric songfic based on the song Control by Halsey.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides One Shots [16]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962379</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Cursing, Remus being Remus.<br/>Warning: This is just a shot of angst. Read at your own risk.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus wandered the halls of the Subconscious, searching for his next great idea, his next breakthrough had to be just around the corner. As he did so, he thought back to the first time he was created, the first time he was locked in a cage, the first time he met Deceit. </p><p>
  <em> They send me away to find them a fortune, A chest filled with diamonds and gold </em>
</p><p>He was so small when it happened. He didn’t know what was going on, only that one moment he was one and the next he was two. Even then, he barely had time to process what had happened before a hook was around his neck, pulling him along another side dressed in black. The side threw him in a cage, not letting him out unless he felt like it. Eventually, he was sent into the Subconscious to find the Nightmare Fuel.</p><p>
  <em> The house was awake, the shadows and monsters, The hallways, they echoed and groaned </em>
</p><p>The Subconscious was not a nice place, Remus soon found out. It was filled with machines trudging on with awful monotony, large areas of shelves that were easy to get lost in. If he wasn’t careful, he would lose himself, his identity. The Subconscious had a habit of absorbing sides, which was what made it so dangerous. As he grew older, he was given a room and learned to fear that too. The walls dripped with blood, whispering things most people would shudder at. <br/><em> I sat alone, in bed till the morning, I'm crying, "They're coming for me" </em></p><p>He cried the first night he was left alone in the cage, and the first night he was left alone in his room. He missed his other half, the person who made him feel complete. This room was too big, to empty with just himself in it. He could feel the floor shake with every step he took, the walls reached out to brush his shoulders, even the furniture seemed to be out to get him. He cried himself to sleep.</p><p>
  <em> And I tried to hold these secrets inside me, My mind's like a deadly disease </em>
</p><p>He tried to resist his function at first, tried to forget who he was. At one point, he went wandering in the Subconscious, hoping to get absorbed. He couldn’t take it anymore, being hated for who he was. He didn’t get far before the side with the cane, who he had come to know as Janus, found him and locked him in his room.</p><p>
  <em> I'm bigger than my body, I'm colder than this home, I'm meaner than my demons, I'm bigger than these bones </em>
</p><p>As he grew, as Thomas grew, Remus forgave himself for his thoughts, he forgave his function and learned to accept it. There were times when he didn’t like who he was, time he wanted to rebel against himself and break free but didn’t. He accepted that part too, giving it an outlet in pages upon pages of writing that would never see the light of day. Thomas would never notice his work as he would never notice Remus’ existence in the first place. </p><p>
  <em> And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me", I can't help this awful energy, God damn right, you should be scared of me, Who is in control? </em>
</p><p>As he grew, he started to get more freedom. He was allowed to use his content on the other sides who lived near the Subconscious. He especially loved terrorizing one particular side. He was always afraid of everything, allowing Remus to use his best material on him. That was, until Anxiety learned to hide from him. After a while, he was unable to differentiate between what he himself created and what his room told him when he should be sleeping. He was never entirely sure if what he wrote was his own creation, the room using him, or even his own intrusive thoughts shining through. </p><p>
  <em> I paced around for hours on empty, I jumped at the slightest of sounds, And I couldn't stand the person inside me, I turned all the mirrors around </em>
</p><p>When he was allowed to come face to face with Thomas for the first time, he didn’t exactly know what to do. He planned and schemed for hours while Janus whittled the other sides down, preparing Thomas for him. When he finally got to see Thomas, his hopes were dashed. He thought Thomas would have put up more of a fight, or at least give in easier. Instead, Logan was the one to put up the biggest fight.</p><p>
  <em> I'm bigger than my body, I'm colder than this home, I'm meaner than my demons, I'm bigger than these bones </em>
</p><p>He didn’t know who he was anymore. All he had was being himself but even that was taken from him. As he sank back to his room, being wrapped in the humid air once more, he felt himself reach out and connect with the wall. Long ago, he had learned to not touch the walls if he could help it as they tended to not want to let go. He had also learned that he would be able to feel the whole room at once if he kept contact for the right amount of time. This time, he didn’t care about his rules but just wanted to feel alive, to remind himself who he was.</p><p>
  <em> And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me", I can't help this awful energy, God damn right, you should be scared of me, Who is in control? </em>
</p><p>He remembered the look on Anxiety’s face as they saw each other for the first time in what must have been twenty-five years. He saw the look on his other half’s face, the one who was supposed to be his ally. He looked into his brother’s eyes but found hatred instead of the acceptance he was hoping for. So, he reminded them who he was. He showed them just who they were messing with.</p><p>
  <em> I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my bed, They beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead, And I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head, They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead </em>
</p><p>He could no longer distinguish where he ended and his own intrusive thoughts began. He had lived with them for so long, they were all he knew. He didn’t know of anything more, simply what he was created to do. But even that didn’t seem to be good enough anymore. Anxiety wouldn’t look him in the eye. When Janus did look at him, it was with disappointment at his failure. He didn’t know who he was anymore, losing himself without even having the almost comforting pull of the Subconscious, the lull and promise of relief, to help him.</p><p>
  <em> I'm bigger than my body, I'm colder than this home, I'm meaner than my demons, I'm bigger than these bones </em>
</p><p>He no longer knew who he was, being rejected by his only friend and discarded by his maker, the only being who gave him purpose. He acted as if everything were fine, even as he broke down on the inside. Picking himself up, he gave himself new resolve. They may have discarded him, but he would not be ignored.</p><p>
  <em> And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me", I can't help this awful energy, God damn right, you should be scared of me, Who is in control?  </em>
</p><p>He schemed and planned, his room whispering ideas as his own head gave him ideas as well. He created the worst things he could think of, his best material yet. He terrorized the sides with it. Anxiety wasn’t as easy as he remembered him being but it was manageable. He was able to get him to spiral, even going so far as to stay out of the next discussion entirely. Morality was easiest prey, Remus was able to spiral him into a full on frog-out.</p><p>
  <em> And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me", I can't help this awful energy, God damn right, you should be scared of me, Who is in control? </em>
</p><p>The next sides to go were Logic and his other half. Both were weak after the latest discussion, making them easy prey and susceptible to him. Remus terrorized Thomas, following him around at all hours of the day. He started with simply creeping him out before working his way up to full blown suggestions all the time, not just at night.</p><p>Janus was the hardest one to deal with, being the most confident and having lies on his side. He was able to easily fend Remus off. In order to get any headway, he had to bring out the biggest ace up his sleeve he had: the illusive Orange side. Not much was known about him, not his function, nor his name. Many sides weren’t entirely sure he existed in the first place. Nevertheless, Remus had the key to the cage and was about to let the wild animal loose in the town.</p>
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